Performing Flagrant Acts of Cruelty with Chaos Dwarfs

When you cut the drummer from a certain band, you are left with the seminal Phantom Lord.




I know not from whence this image is leached, only the nature of its decrying. Now see well, Master of Madness, and more beyond that.

Soon there'll be an assembly, and under which shall be the very terrain by which we battle, in the Kriegspiel Room.

Contrived gratification through Warhammer-in the last edition before posers overwhelmed.

I'd diagram the nature of my compulsory infantry unit, but would that leave a tell? Who gives a fuck, Master of Madness is my mascot through a three day bender, as I recover from my bump-in with a force of nature.

Parabolic, there was a lot of Militia box sets purchased ad nauseum in the days of 6th, because the unit could do exciting things like upgrade one model to have an extra attack, and forfeit a victory point by putting a standard bearer in there. To the contrary here's a tell.

Unit Name ## Mv WS BS St To Wo In At Ld Sv Cost
* Chaos Dwarfs 18 3 4 3 3/5 4 1 2 1 9 4 409.0
Usage Conflict; ^; Standard Bearer; +1 Combat Result; Musician; +1 Combat Result if tied; Allows skirmished units to reform; Two-Handed Weap; Always strikes last in HtH; Heavy Armor; Shield
 Banner of Arcane Protection Spells at unit dispelled on 4+; Daemons/Undead models touching unit suffer 1 wound at start of bearer's magic phase [50.0]
 * Champion 1 3 5 4 4/6 4 1 3 2 9 X/4 [79.0]
Usage Conflict; Two-Handed Weap; Always strikes last in HtH; Heavy Armor; Shield
   Sword of Swift Slaying Wielder strikes first in HtH combat [25.0]
Total Army Cost: 409.0 Pts.

Unit Name ## Mv WS BS St To Wo In At Ld Sv Cost
(Hobgob) 1 4/3 5 5 4 4 2 4 3/4 7 X/3 166.0
Usage Conflict; Flail; +2S in first turn of any HtH combat; Pistol; S4 hit @ Range 6"; Extra -1Sv; Fires every other turn; +1A @ S4 in HtH; Heavy Armor; Shield
 Chalice of Darkness Use at start of magic phase, after WoM cards are dealt but before any spells are cast; Roll D6 and remove that number of WoM cards from each side; If not enough cards, must surrender spell cards to make up the difference; For each spell surrendered, bearer suffers 1 wound on a 4+ (no armor saves) [50.0]
 Daemon Steed Deamon steed as mount [50.0]
 Daemon Steed 1 8 4 - 4 4 3 6 3 10 3 [0.0]
* Hero (Dwarf) 1 3 6 5 4/6 5 2 4 3/4 10 X/4 166.0
Usage Conflict; Spear; Two ranks attack if no movement; +1S on cavalry charge; Two-Handed Weap; Always strikes last in HtH; Handgun; S4 hit @ Range 24"; Extra -1Sv; Cannot move & fire; Full turn to reload; Two-rank firing formation; Pistol; S4 hit @ Range 6"; Extra -1Sv; Fires every other turn; +1A @ S4 in HtH; Heavy Armor; Shield
 Black Gem of Gnar One use only; Usable against model in base contact; Both models frozen in time until a player rolls a 6 at the start of his turn [25.0]
 Helm of Many Eyes Wearer always strikes first in hand-to-hand combat [25.0]

Here's my list for Friday, replete with fluff notes..

2000 Pts - Chaos Dwarves Army No Name

Unit Name ## Mv WS BS St To Wo In At Ld Sv Cost
* Svirfneblin (Gen) 1 3 7 6 4/6 5 3 5 4/5 10 X/4 292.0
Usage Conflict; Units w/i 12" may use the general's Ld; Spear; Two ranks attack if no movement; +1S on cavalry charge; Two-Handed Weap; Always strikes last in HtH; Handgun; S4 hit @ Range 24"; Extra -1Sv; Cannot move & fire; Full turn to reload; Two-rank firing formation; Pistol; S4 hit @ Range 6"; Extra -1Sv; Fires every other turn; +1A @ S4 in HtH; Heavy Armor; Shield; Svirfneblin yearns to retract the time he performed cannibalistic rites in abject grizzled-dom.
 Sword of Heroes Versus opponents with T5+, gives +3S on rolls to wound and does D3 wounds [60.0]
 Warpstone Charm Re-roll any one dice throw, adjusting it by +1/-1 if desired [10.0]
 Golden Crown of Atrazar 3+ Special Save; If 2+ wounds saved in same phase, exhausted on 4+ [50.0]
* Master of Madness (HerDw) 1 3 6 5 4/6 5 2 4 3/4 10 X/4 166.0
Usage Conflict; Spear; Two ranks attack if no movement; +1S on cavalry charge; Two-Handed Weap; Always strikes last in HtH; Handgun; S4 hit @ Range 24"; Extra -1Sv; Cannot move & fire; Full turn to reload; Two-rank firing formation; Pistol; S4 hit @ Range 6"; Extra -1Sv; Fires every other turn; +1A @ S4 in HtH; Heavy Armor; Shield; Master of Madness is a renowned self-yodeller, and aspires to create a small press zine once it's less anachronistic.
 Black Gem of Gnar One use only; Usable against model in base contact; Both models frozen in time until a player rolls a 6 at the start of his turn [25.0]
 Helm of Many Eyes Wearer always strikes first in hand-to-hand combat [25.0]
* Herr Hogg (HerHg) 1 4/3 5 5 4 4 2 4 3/4 7 X/3 169.0
Usage Conflict; Flail; +2S in first turn of any HtH combat; Handgun; S4 hit @ Range 24"; Extra -1Sv; Cannot move & fire; Full turn to reload; Two-rank firing formation; Pistol; S4 hit @ Range 6"; Extra -1Sv; Fires every other turn; +1A @ S4 in HtH; Heavy Armor; Shield; \Herr Hogg is permanently locked into a Remote Viewing doppelganger dichotomy.
 Chalice of Darkness Use at start of magic phase, after WoM cards are dealt but before any spells are cast; Roll D6 and remove that number of WoM cards from each side; If not enough cards, must surrender spell cards to make up the difference; For each spell surrendered, bearer suffers 1 wound on a 4+ (no armor saves) [50.0]
 Daemon Steed Deamon steed as mount [50.0]
   Ex GF Periapt (Daem) 1 8 4 - 4 4 3 6 3 10 3 [0.0]
* The Little Fuckin Homos (Warr) 17 3 4 3 3/5 4 1 2 1 9 4 395.0
Usage Conflict; ^; Standard Bearer; +1 Combat Result; Musician; +1 Combat Result if tied; Allows skirmished units to reform; Two-Handed Weap; Always strikes last in HtH; Heavy Armor; Shield; Master of Madness caught lightning in a bottle and drug these shmucks from the slave pits by way of his riddle and song.
 Banner of Arcane Protection Spells at unit dispelled on 4+; Daemons/Undead models touching unit suffer 1 wound at start of bearer's magic phase [50.0]
 * The Chimes of Dew (ChmDw) 1 3 5 4 4/6 4 1 3 2 9 X/4 [79.0]
Usage Conflict; Two-Handed Weap; Always strikes last in HtH; Heavy Armor; Shield; He is kept in a torpor of drugs as he is the overseer to the homos
   Sword of Swift Slaying Wielder strikes first in HtH combat [25.0]
The Snakesbladders (Git) 27 4 3 3 3 3 1 2 1/2 6 X 237.0
Poisoned weapons cause -1Sv; Can always lap any number of models around enemy; Standard Bearer; +1 Combat Result; Musician; +1 Combat Result if tied; Allows skirmished units to reform; Second Weapon; Animosity on a 1
 * Ulterion (ChmHg) 1 4 4 4 4 3 1 3 2/3 6 X [63.0]
Usage Conflict; Second Weapon; Ulterion long since went mad and is an empty vessel bearing The Screaming Sword.
   Shrieking Blade Bearer causes Fear and is immune to it [35.0]
* Brute Mangos (Bull) 5 8 4 3 4/6 4 2 3 2 9 5 346.0
Usage Conflict; Standard Bearer; +1 Combat Result; Two-Handed Weap; Always strikes last in HtH; Light Armor; Shield; They violently enact their beefcake fantasies on the remnants of the battlefield.
 Storm Banner One use only; Used at start of player's turn; No creatures may fly and those Flying High are forced down, landing in center of table and moving 3D6" in random direction determine by Scatter Die; Shooting ranges are halved; Effects continue until a 6 is rolled at the start of either player's turn [100.0]
Earthshaker Cannon 1 - - - - 7 3 - - - 5 140.0
Roll artillery and scatter dice for deviation; Range 12-48"; Targets suffer S7 hit for D3 wounds; Heavy Armor; Roll D6 for all units within 2D6" range of impact: 1=Lose next turn, 2-5=Half movement and no troops shooting (machines shoot on 4+); 6=No effect
 Dwarf Crew 3 3 4 3 3 4 1 2 1 9 X [0.0]
Earthshaker Cannon 1 - - - - 7 3 - - - 5 140.0
Roll artillery and scatter dice for deviation; Range 12-48"; Targets suffer S7 hit for D3 wounds; Heavy Armor; Roll D6 for all units within 2D6" range of impact: 1=Lose next turn, 2-5=Half movement and no troops shooting (machines shoot on 4+); 6=No effect
 Dwarf Crew 3 3 4 3 3 4 1 2 1 9 X [0.0]
the queen angrily barfing (Rock) 1 - - - - 7 3 - - - 5 75.0
Roll artillery and scatter dice for deviation; Range 48"; Targets suffer S5 hit for D3 wounds; Heavy Armor
 Dwarf Crew 2 3 4 3 3 4 1 2 1 9 X [0.0]
* Iron Claws (Gob) 10 4 2 3 3/4 3 1 2 1 5 X/6 40.0
Usage Conflict; Halberd; Shield; Animosity on a 1 (unless hobgoblins present); Ignore fleeing hobgoblins; Fear Elves unless they out-number by 2:1; These 10 yellow-skins search for their lost champion, long since missing due to howling off into the distance with the Berserker Sword in tow.
Total Army Cost: 2000.0 Pts.
Validation Results:
Roster satisfies all enforced validation rules
Troop Type Count Unused Points Unused Percent
Character (<=50%) 5 n/a 769.0 231.0 38%
Regiment (>=25% <=100%) 4 n/a 876.0 1124.0 43%
Machine (<=25%) 3 n/a 355.0 145.0 17%
Monster (<=25%) 0 n/a 0.0 500.0 0%
Allies (<=25%) 0 n/a 0.0 500.0 0%
Magic Item Summary 11 n/a 480.0 n/a 24%

Here's my Boar(!) Centaur Tenderizer!
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It needs no glue, the scythes alone are for such fare!


I'm wondering how I'd use this thing in said edition.

That is ULTRAKEWL Etts! 😎

The pavise can be removed through sustained fire, but the hog-man pushing it just bucks up and keeps at 'er

And then at the resultant bush party, he's the first to smoke dead foe in pipe.
They come...wait for it...pre-tenderized. The pestle he bears.
 He's a bit destabilized, a bit Manchoochoo-train!

I saw a Chaos Dwarf called Snake Eye or something, he had the Thulsa Doom icon as a head decal. I seek.

As I've a list for the Tenderizer, I went full-tilt in said list and snucked in the Tunnel team. 4 man tunnel teams are a legal part of fifth, Nigh-Gobs, and both brands of Dwarf get them. 4 man teams armed with great weapons that can pop up anywhere, if they're lucky. I'm picking thus from such.


I discerned I should put this link in, as it is full-on Warhammer, as is meant.


Here's a Bull Centaur build. I checked and it's legal.

Unit Name ## Mv WS BS St To Wo In At Ld Sv Cost
Breeder (HerBC)  1 8 6 5 5/7 5 3 5 4/5 10 X/6 313.0
Two-Handed Weap; Always strikes last in HtH; Two Pistols; S4 hit @ Range 6"; Extra -1Sv; One may fire every turn; +1A @ S4 in HtH
 Helm of Many Eyes Wearer always strikes first in hand-to-hand combat [25.0]
 Daemon Steed Deamon steed as mount [50.0]
   Daemon Steed 1 8 4 - 4 4 3 6 3 10 3 [0.0]
Total Army Cost: 313.0 Pts.Time to get on the conversion mitts.

*Leeches an image* Sigh...they're so winsome.

The Mnemonics & Iaijutsu-from-pocket gave me all the strength I need. I might upload a turn from the Warhammer game come the Witching Hour in the Dead of Night.





I'm gonna assemble Mighty Empires once I'm done coffee.

This space is reserved by the muscular neck of Rollins.